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This is for anyone who is ready to earn more and feel better.
I broke my New Year's resolution on January 1st.
Not January 15th, when most resolutions supposedly die. Not even January 2nd, which would have at least given me bragging rights for completing a single day.
Day One. The very first day of my "hardcore novel-writing plan." The word count I'd committed to? Didn't happen. I did other work instead—work that was already overdue from yesterday—which meant everything started cascading backward like dominoes, and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to crawl under the covers and whisper fuck it into the void.
If you've ever set a strict diet and then broken it spectacularly—bingeing your face off, literally feeding guilt with more guilt, adding a stomachache as a form of self-punishment—you know this feeling. That was me for years. The restriction, the failure, the spiral, the shame. Rinse, repeat, hate yourself.
But here's the thing: I'm not that person anymore. Not because I've achieved some enlightened state of perfect discipline, but because I've learned to interrupt the spiral. And when I felt it starting on January 1st, I had a choice.
I chose differently.
What I did instead:
- I recognized the voice—but remembered it's not the only voice.
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​The part of me screaming "YOU ALREADY RUINED IT" is loud. Crushing, even. But it's a part. Not the whole. So instead of letting that voice run the show, I got curious: What other parts of me have opinions about this situation?
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Turns out, there's a part that's exhausted from the holidays. A part that knows my son had a rough night. A part that's genuinely proud I showed up for client work. A part that understands life is not a spreadsheet.
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- I asked the loud part what it actually wants.
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​This is crucial. That guilt-ridden, self-flagellating part of me isn't trying to destroy me. It has a positive intention—it wants me to be professionally fulfilled, financially stable, able to provide for my family. Its method (shame and punishment) is terrible. But its goal is actually aligned with what I want.
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Once I named the goal, I could ask a better question: What's another way to get there that doesn't involve self-destruction?
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- I fast-forwarded to bedtime.
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​This is my favorite reframe. I asked myself: Tonight, when I'm lying in bed reflecting on my day, what would make me feel proud—given that the morning is already gone?
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​Not proud in a hustle-culture, "I clawed it back with superhuman effort" way. Not proud in a "I gave up and watched Netflix guilt-free" way. But a real proud. A compromise between indulging the inner critic and abandoning ship entirely.
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- I mapped my options and checked them against my body.
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​Here's what I came up with: finish my overdue email pipeline (necessary), post a simple static carousel instead of skipping social entirely (compromise, not perfection), and write something on the novel tonight—even if it's not the word count, maybe just a voice memo fleshing out the first chapter.
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And then I did something radical: I asked my body which option felt right. Not my head. My body. The one that was telling me I desperately needed a nap.
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- I planned around my obstacles. ​
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I know myself. I'm incredibly tempted to nap through the afternoon and wake up hating myself more. So instead of waiting until I was "at my desk and focused" to pick which carousel to post, I opened Canva immediately—while I still had a sliver of momentum—and chose one.
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It's not about willpower. It's about making the next right thing easy.
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Here's what I realized:
Missing my goal on Day One wasn't a disaster. It was the exact learning curve I needed.
Because the skill I'm actually trying to build isn't "follow the plan perfectly." It's "get back on the horse." And you can only build that skill by falling off.
This is why traditional goal-setting fails us. SMART goals are too logical, too rational—and we're not rational beings. We're emotional beings. Goals don't fall apart because of bad planning. They fall apart because our emotions get in the way of follow-through.
So if you've already "failed" at your resolution, I want you to try this:
👉 Notice the loud voice—but ask who else is in the room. What other parts of you have something to say?
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👉 Find the positive intention behind the guilt. What does that harsh inner critic actually want for you? (It's usually something good, delivered badly.)
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👉 Fast-forward to tonight. What would make you proud, given what's already happened?
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👉 Pick one thing. Not a punishment. Not an overcompensation. A compromise that your body can actually agree to.
👉 Do one tiny thing now to make the next step easier, while you still have momentum.
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I created something called the DIME Method—it stands for Desire, Impact, Metric, and Energy—because I got tired of setting goals that looked good on paper and then watching them crumble the first time life got in the way.
DIME helps you build goals around how you want to feel, not just what you want to achieve. It accounts for your actual capacity. And it has built-in flexibility for moments exactly like the one I had on January 1st.
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The goal isn't perfection. The goal is a system—and a self—that can absorb the inevitable curveballs without crumbling.
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Now go get paid.
x Claire
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